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If you do an online search about arms crossing, you will find that some say it is a sign of self-blocking, which means a gesture you do to keep people away from you; other sources would tell you that it is a sign of respect.
Also, you will find a lot of nonsense. Believe me.. I've been there before..
In this article, I'll give you real answers to what does crossed arms gesture means, why people cross their arms? and how you can read that gesture and find out exactly how those people are feeling.
Read on if you want to become an expert in understanding and reading that gesture. *wink*
Arms crossed. Let's find out why people cross their arms now.
Why People Cross Their Arms
Two good friends are having a good conversation, they seem to be really engaged in that topic and so interested in discussing it, but they are crossing their arms; and on the other side, two people who merely know each other are having a small conversation while waiting in a line to buy some pizza, but again, they both are crossing their arms.Does that mean all of them are feeling insecure and not too confident? Not exactly. It massively depends on the relationship between people, the way they cross their arms, and other gestures they do in addition to crossing their arms.
Here are the most common reasons why people fold their arms:
The Self-hug
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| Self-hugging |
One reason why we cross our arms is to feel comfortable and secure. For instance, if you are giving a speech and noticed that someone from the audience is crossing their arms, try to ask them if they are feeling comfortable, and the answer is going to be a yes because they are really feeling comfortable.
We do not want to keep people away every time we cross our arms, we just do it sometimes because it gives that that secure, comfortable feeling. Who does not like that?
Stress Relief
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| Stress relief |
Even though we can clearly see this behavior in the classroom on exam days, we can find it in other places. e.g: a father waiting in the hospital for his newborn baby.
We cross our arms across the torso and massage our arms with our opposite hands to help ourselves calm down and soothe our nerves when we get stressed. That explains why most students do that in the day of the exam, specially while they are waiting for the teacher to hand them the exam paper.
Masking Insecurities
Many people connect arm crossing with the feeling of insecurity, and that is well known all around the world. Politicians and celebrities avoid this gesture so not to look nervous and insecure. Even though it is proven that when a person crosses their arm it does not necessary mean they feel insecure, in many cases, it indeed expresses the feeling of insecurity.People cross their arms so not to feel exposed to the person or location that they feel insecure around, and that makes them feel secure once again. You can call it an arms shield that we use instead of a metal shield in order to protect ourselves.
Anxiety and Fear
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| Anxiety & fear |
One way to differentiate between the two is to see if the person is frequently moving his hand up to his neck, touch it for a while, and then move it back down to the torso. If that is the case, there is a high chance that s/he is not just insecure, but afraid and anxious.
If the person is just crossing their arms without touching their neck now and then, it is probably because they feel insecure.
For your information, neck touching indicates tension, anxiety, insecurity, or emotional distress. So seeing that behavior in a person who is crossing their arms is a powerful sign of fear and anxiety.
Mirroring
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| Mirroring |
Sometimes it is not about negative feelings at all. In psychology, it is well known that when you talk with someone who likes you, they will unconsciously mirror your gestures. They will not do everything you do as if they were some kind of crazy robots, but they will still mirror some of your gestures, the way you talk, and sometimes even use the same facial expressions that you use.
The point of all this? the next time you see two comfortable people having a conversation while crossing their arms, it can be just because they are good friends and one of them is probably unconsciously mirroring the other.
Self Restraint or Frustration
We also cross our arms when we feel upset to comfort ourselves. Have you ever seen a children do it? I bet you did. Kids cross their arms when asked not to do something they enjoy doing ( playing ), when asked to do something they do not want to do ( take a shower ), and generally, when they get upset. It is a way to express their frustration without saying a single word.Not just children, but sometimes adults do that as well. Not quite exactly like children do, but they do it anyways. One thing to know is that even though it is a vivid way to express frustration, it is still considered as a self-restraint behavior and not a blocking behavior.
If you ever annoyed somebody till they got frustrated, then you better apologize to them properly. No idea how to apologize to somebody and make them forgive you? Visit How to apologize effectively to get 7 effective apology tips.
The Power Pose
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| The power pose |
Also called the bully pose by teachers, is when somebody cross their arms to look bigger and stronger; It communicates that they are ready for any issue, and that they are capable of handling any threats or problems. Bouncers and security guards do it more often. I have also seen people in the gym who do it while waiting for their mate to finish their workout.
The Insulating Arm Cross
None of the gestures I mentioned above indicates the blocking behavior, but this one does.Every once in a while we meet somebody that we do not feel comfortable around, and in most cases, we cannot ignore theme because they are friends with somebody we know.
Instead of walking away, you may create a physical and physiological barrier by crossing your arms. Unfortunately, and since most people do not know much about body language, one cannot simply understand that he is not welcomed to your world just by crossing your arms. If you want to make it crystal clear, then use other gestures and facial expressions to express that in addition to crossing your arms.
However, I do not think it is a good idea to avoid somebody just because you feel that you do not like them. That is, in my opinion, wrong in so many levels. Give new people a chance and you may be surprised of how great they are. If you do not want to talk with them at that particular moment because you are not feeling well, then simply excuse and leave instead of blocking them from approaching you.
It's Cold
Did i mention that sometimes the explanation is too easy and does not require a deep body language analysis?Sometimes we simply cross our arms because it is too cold, and all we want is to warm ourselves a little bit.
Kind Takeaway
There are many reasons that makes people cross their arms; some cross their arms because they feel insecure, and some do it to look cool.
Different Ways of Arm Crossing Indicate Different Meanings
There are different ways of arm crossing, and every single one of us uses whatever suits him or her, or to be more specific, whatever suits the situation is which s/he is confronting.Here are some common ways people cross their arms, and the meaning of each one of them:
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| Crossed arms |
Crossed Arms
You can see a lot of examples of this by observing people who publicly meet strangers or somebody they barely know, in elevators, and cashier shopping lines.People tend to cross their arms that way when they negative, insecure, or uncertain of their surroundings. Also, when people feel defensive. In a group of a few guys who barely know each other, Richard is being made fun of among all other guys. Chances are Richard is going to stand there, cross his arms, and probably awkwardly smile before he get to reply.
Crossed Arms With Fists
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| Crossed arms with fists |
This is an even more defensive gesture. It is a strong sign of defensiveness and hostility. That explains why most policemen and security guards opt for this kind arm crossing.
Self-Reassurance Cross
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| Self-Reassurance Cross |
Arm Crossed With Thumbs
One Crossed Arm
Self Holding Hands
Just like the "one crossed arm gesture" is popular among amongst women, the "self holding hands" is popular amongst men. You can simply say it is more manly gesture to create the same feeling of comfort. Women look cute when they do the one cross arm gesture, but for men, i doubt that.
To see this gesture, watch somebody who is waiting for his turn to give a public speech.
Subtle Arm Crosses
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| Subtle Arm Crosses |
Other ways to do it are:
- Adjusting their watch
- Checking their wallet
- Scratching their wrists
- Adjusting their cufflinks
- Fiddling with their ring
- Using their phone or tablet
For women, they have a good advantage over men as they can use their purse or their many jewelries to feel secure.
Kind Takeaway
Based on the way people cross their arms, you could tell what each gesture indicates rather than assuming that arms crossing gesture means only one thing, which is usually negative.
Crossed Arms Could Mean Nothing
No wait a second.. That's not right!While crossing arms could mean a lot of things that I am going to talk about later in this article, it can still be wrongly understood. How can you accurately guess the meaning of the crossed arms? Read on to know.
Never Assume You Accurately Understood the Signal
In one hand, There are some gestures that have only one meaning, and not too complicated to understand. As an example, when someone gives you a thumb up, it usually means approval or encouragement.On the other hand, most signals could never determine how a person is feeling alone. If you see somebody crossing his/her arms, it can be because s/he feels insecure, fear, frustration, anxiety, or simply cold. It can also mean that the person is relieving stress, posing, or mirroring somebody else.
It depends on a variety of factors, and making a guess based on one signal is never a good idea.
Look for Other Signals Along with Crossed Arms
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| Gestures combination |
People can cross their arms for many reasons. Making a guess of how people feel based on the way they cross their arms only could end up with making the wrong assessment.
People cross their arms in different ways, and while some arm crossing gestures can clearly reflect how the person is feeling, others can be a bit complicated and hard to understand what does it exactly means.
The most suitable thing you can do to avoid making the wrong guess about why a person is crossing his/her arms is to look for other signals along with crossed arms. One gesture can help you understand a person's feelings, but a combination of signals will give you a closer idea about how s/he feels. Also, put into consideration the environment in which that event is happening or happened.
When we study nonverbal behavior we have to consider context, the environment, and all the behaviors we see, not just one. That means reading all of the body, from head to toe.
Said an ex FBI agent in the article 9 truths exposing a myth about body language in the PsychologyToday website.
Does that person is crossing his/her legs as well? Does s/he lean back? Does his/her feet point away from you? Does s/he avoids eye contact with? If that's the case, there is a high chance that s/he is closed for arguments, and do not want to discuss that particular subject anymore; or s/he simply do not want to talk at all.
If a person is crossing his/her arms because s/he feels insecure, s/he will probably show other signs such as stammering, avoiding eye contact, sweating, or blushing.
The list goes on..
Kind Takeaway
Never assume something based on one signal only. Look for other signals along with the main one to form a clearer idea about the person you're observing
2 Popular Signals Combinations That Include Arms Crossing
It is more easy to guess what a person is expressing through his/her body language when focusing on a combination of signals instead of focusing on one gesture only. There are some cases when crossing arms, along with other signals, indicates particular feelings. Here are two examples:
When Crossed Arms Mean the other Person is Closed for Arguments
To have an idea about if the other person no longer wants to talk, look for other signals along with arm crossing. Here is a list of some of those signals:- Crossing of legs
- Leaning back
- Feet pointing away from you
- Avoiding eye contact
- Shaking the head, saying no
- etc..
When Crossed Arms Indicate Insecurities
To see if a person is feeling insecure, look for the following signals:- In a vulnerable position (e.g. doing a speech)
- Avoiding eye contact
- Sweating
- Stammering
- Blushing
- etc..
Crossing your Arms Helps you Deal with Difficult Tasks
It is well known that crossing your arms could be a sign of blocking other people from approaching you, but would you believe that it is actually helpful when it comes to dealing with difficult tasks?
Research shows you’re 30 percent more likely to stay on a difficult task with crossed arms, so during brainstorming, it’s actually a good idea to cross arms
Said Janine Driver, the president of The Body Language Institute, in a video that was published on Today's website in the article Are crossed arms okay?
Kind Takeaway
When dealing with a difficult task, cross your arms while thinking to help yourself complete the task
As you have seen above, arms crossing could indicates a variety of things, and many people misread that gesture and simply think it is a self-block sign or a proof of lack of self-confidence. Luckily, you are now aware of some valuable information and you, unlike the majority of people, can understand each arms crossing gesture.
Please feel free to bookmark this article or save it for later use if you feel that you are going to need it later. I write long, in depth articles because I want them to be a good source that you can use now, later, and whenever you need it.
If you want more information about the arms crossing topic, you want to know why a certain person crosses their arms based on the context, or you are somehow confused feel free to get in touch with me .
The Kind Word blog's main goal is to help you be a better speaker, listener, and an expert in the communication discipline. Communication is the most important skill in the world, and people who know how to speak tend to have more power and authority than those who do not. If you are interested, here is how you can start your journey of becoming a professional speaker: Let's become better speakers together!
The next thing I want you to do now is to comment if you have any extra information about the topic, or if you have questions that you want to ask. I will be more than happy to listen to your ideas!
Sources
- http://www.simplybodylanguage.com/what-do-arms-crossed-mean.html
- http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/parts_body_language/arm_body_language.htm
- http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap4.html
- http://www.today.com/health/are-crossed-arms-ok-body-language-myths-fixes-office-1D79842021
- http://lonerwolf.com/body-language-arms/
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201410/9-truths-exposing-myth-about-body-language
- http://www.psychmechanics.com/2015/04/body-language-crossing-arms.html
